Valhalla Island

Everyone said such great things and maybe I turned it off before it got good, if that’s the case they were taking their time, I watched for an hour and a half. There was one benefit to watching it as long as I did - I now know just how many times I can watch a Spartan’s spear pierce a Persian’s chest before becoming bored. That number is around 650 times.

For mathematicians and logicists here’s an equation:

650 Spartan spears plunged into Persian hearts one by one over an hour → boredom

There was some appropriately timed boob scenes and they tried as hard as they could to keep me interested. It worked, for a little while, but frankly one every half hour just wasn’t enough to hold my attention.

It definitely wasn’t the amount of gore. If anything, it could have been more gory, not that it would have helped.