Valhalla Island

I recently listened to (another) great This American Life installment about Marriage. The first act is a psychologist researching the predictability of married couples staying together. There was interesting discussion about arguments.

Decades of research by John Gottman has proven that the frequency of arugments has absolutely no effect on the length or quality of marriage. This transfers to life in general and re-enforces my own thoughts on arguments.

I like to argue.

It annoys me when people avoid arguments.

It annoys me when people try to shut down simple arguments to “keep the peace” (but if I’m arguing with someone who’s obviously moving from arguing to rage I’m not too proud concede defeat to avoid a full blown fight, fighting is never worth it). It especially annoys me when this is done using the phrase “we’re all friends here”.

Arguments are healthy. Fights, while may relieve immediate tension will leave the issue unresolved when you recover. You must learn the difference between an argument and a fight. Arguments are not fights. Although with the wrong two people or even one wrong person, arguments can quickly escalate into fights.

The people that try to break up any kind of argument are the no-matter-what positive people. You know the people that look on the bright side of having their wallet stolen. Just like it’s OK to be pissed off, it’s OK to disagree with others and debate your side of the disagreement.

What would come of the world if there was no debate? The US would invade Ir… Oh, not a good example.